Talking about mental health at work can feel awkward, intimidating, or even risky. But if you’re struggling, keeping it bottled up isn’t going to make things better. Having an open and honest conversation with your manager can be a game-changer, whether you need accommodations, support, or just someone to understand what you’re going through.
This is a topic covered in workplace mental health training courses, such as those offered by Siren Training, a company that focuses on mental health first aid training, neurodiversity training for workplaces, and wellbeing workshops. For example, some of Siren Training’s courses discuss how to approach conversations about mental health with managers.
Workplaces are slowly getting better at recognizing mental health as just as important as physical health, but that doesn’t mean every manager is great at handling these conversations. Still, advocating for yourself is worth it. This guide will help you navigate the process so you can get the support you need without feeling like you’re walking on eggshells.
Preparing for the Conversation
Identify Your Key Concerns and Needs
Before diving into the conversation, take some time to figure out exactly what you want to say. Are you dealing with burnout? Anxiety? Depression? Do you need time off, flexible hours, or just an understanding that you’re not at 100% right now? Pinpointing what’s been tough for you and what kind of support could help will make the conversation smoother.
It can also help to jot down some key points in case nerves take over. You don’t need a script, but having a rough idea of what you want to communicate can keep you from rambling or forgetting important details.
Choosing the Right Time and Setting
Timing matters. Bringing up mental health in the middle of a hectic Monday morning isn’t ideal. Try to schedule a one-on-one meeting at a time when your manager isn’t swamped. If possible, choose a private space where you feel comfortable speaking openly without worrying about being overheard.
If face-to-face feels overwhelming, email might be a good way to break the ice. A short message like, “Hey [Manager’s Name], I’d like to set up a time to chat about something personal that’s affecting my work. Let me know when you’d be available.” can help ease you into the conversation.
Gathering Relevant Resources
If your workplace has mental health policies, Employee Assistance Programmes (EAPs), or flexible working options, it’s worth familiarising yourself with them. Knowing what’s available can help you steer the conversation toward realistic solutions rather than just expressing concerns without a clear ask.
Structuring the Conversation
Starting the Discussion
Jumping straight into “I’m really struggling with my mental health” can feel heavy. Instead, ease into it with something like:
- “I wanted to talk to you about something that’s been affecting my work.”
- “I’ve been dealing with some mental health challenges, and I’d like to discuss ways to manage my workload better.”
- “I’m finding things a bit overwhelming, and I think it would help to have a conversation about support options.”
This sets the stage without making the conversation feel too intense right away.
Explaining Your Situation
You don’t need to share every detail of your struggles—your manager isn’t your therapist. Instead, focus on how your mental health is affecting your work and what adjustments might help. For example:
- “Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely anxious, which makes it harder to focus and meet deadlines. I think a flexible schedule could help me manage things better.”
- “I’m dealing with burnout and exhaustion, and I worry that if I keep pushing, it’ll only get worse. I’d like to explore options to lighten my workload temporarily.”
Keep it direct but not too clinical. It’s okay to be human about it.
Suggesting Solutions
Managers often appreciate when employees bring potential solutions instead of just problems. If you’ve thought about what could help, mention it:
- Adjusted deadlines or workload redistribution
- Temporary remote work or flexible hours
- A break from certain high-stress tasks
- Using available mental health resources like an EAP
This makes it easier for your manager to work with you instead of feeling like they have to figure everything out on their own.
Managing Your Manager’s Response
If They’re Supportive
Best-case scenario: your manager listens, validates your concerns, and works with you to find a solution. If this happens, take note of any next steps and follow up if needed.
It’s also okay to ask for check-ins. Something like, “Would it be alright if we touched base in a few weeks to see how things are going?” keeps the conversation open and ongoing rather than a one-time thing.
If They’re Unhelpful or Dismissive
Unfortunately, not every manager handles mental health conversations well. If you get a reaction like “Just push through it” or “We all have bad days,” don’t take it personally. Some people just don’t get it.
If this happens, consider escalating to HR or checking company policies to see what formal support options exist. You deserve to work in an environment that respects mental health, and if your manager isn’t receptive, that doesn’t mean your needs aren’t valid.
If you feel comfortable, you can gently push back: “I understand that work can be stressful, but this is something that’s significantly impacting me. I’d really appreciate looking at some options together.” Sometimes, managers just need a little nudge to take things seriously.
Following Up
Keeping Communication Open
Even if the initial conversation goes well, it’s important to keep the dialogue going. Mental health isn’t a one-time issue, and your needs might change over time. A quick check-in after a few weeks—either scheduled or informal—can help make sure any adjustments are working. If things are improving, acknowledge it. If not, use the opportunity to discuss further changes.
It’s also helpful to establish an open-door policy with your manager. Letting them know that you appreciate their support and may need further discussions down the line can make it easier to revisit the topic if necessary.
Monitoring Changes in Workload and Support
If your manager agreed to accommodations, make sure they’re actually happening. If you were promised reduced workload but nothing changed, follow up with a polite reminder: “Hey, I wanted to check in about our conversation. I’m still feeling overwhelmed and wanted to revisit the adjustments we discussed.” Be specific about what hasn’t changed and how it’s affecting you to make it easier for your manager to take action.
Keep track of any agreements in writing, such as follow-up emails summarising what was discussed and decided. This can be useful in case you need to escalate the issue later.
Seeking Additional Help if Needed
If things don’t improve, it might be time to seek external support, whether that’s HR, a workplace mental health advocate, or even looking at job options that better align with your well-being. Your mental health should never take a backseat to work. If your current workplace isn’t supportive, it’s worth considering whether it’s the right fit for you in the long run.
Wrapping It Up
Opening up about mental health at work isn’t easy, but it’s an important step toward taking care of yourself. You’re not being weak, lazy, or a burden by speaking up—you’re setting boundaries and advocating for your well-being.
Not every manager will get it, and some conversations might be uncomfortable. But prioritising your mental health is always worth it. If you’re struggling, you deserve support, and taking that first step can make a huge difference. And who knows? You might even pave the way for others in your workplace to do the same.
